who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
