it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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