grandma shit on top of the toilet
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
