I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
