Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
