is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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