I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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