Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
