your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
