he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
