If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize