Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
