I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
