He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize
