I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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