I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize