I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
