so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
