Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
