Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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