why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize