Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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