I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Randomize
