The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
