Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Dicks are not precious.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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