I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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