I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize