Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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