I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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