your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
