I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize