You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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