She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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