Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
