Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
