So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
