My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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