So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize