Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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