I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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