my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
