You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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