when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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