Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
