Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm sobbing to NWA
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