I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
