Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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