If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
