I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
