I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
