I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
