Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
