Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
