talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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