i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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