Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
