Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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