I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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