That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
