I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
The beer is more important than you right now.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
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