I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
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