She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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