ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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