Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize