She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
