If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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