The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
there is glitter all over my balls
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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