I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Randomize
