Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
